Selling to women and selling to men are two completely different games. And if you sell to women, this might be your favorite post you’ve read all year
Selling to women and selling to men are two completely different games.
And if you sell to women, this might be your favorite email you’ve opened all year…
I just wrapped up a launch for a women’s weight loss program.
And I write the emails for a coaching brand doing $416K a month – who serves almost entirely women.
I’ve also written for 10+ other women’s offers.
I’ve seen many data points firsthand across many different campaigns, that women buy differently than men…
However, there are 3 things in particular that you have to do when marketing to women vs. men:
Go read a bunch of old-school direct response copy, a lot of it written by men.
You’ll notice it loves to point at the reader:
You’re overweight, you’re broke, you’re lazy, it’s all your fault.
And yeah this converts to an extent…
But look at the customer it brings in:
People who are already in a low emotional state.
People who hop from product to product and never stick around long enough to get decent results.
You can’t build a real business with customers like that.
They refund, they ghost, and then they’re onto the next guru to repeat their same victimhood cycle in their same low emotional state.
So instead of hammering on what’s wrong with her and how it’s her fault, get empathetic about the situation she’s in.
The key isn’t to coddle, it’s to remove the blame.
And the best way to remove that blame is to place it on something else outside of her.
Eg. She was misled. The industry sold her a lie and kept profiting while she stayed stuck.
In that weight-loss launch, we never once told a woman she was lazy.
We blamed the diet industry. We told her most diets were built to fail her so she’d keep buying the next one…
Twenty years on the roller coaster, doing everything right… then bingeing again by Monday, because every diet she was ever sold was designed to make her fail so they could sell her the next one. That’s why she kept losing weight and then gaining it back again.
The problem was never her. The problem is that no one’s ever taught her how to lose weight for the last time.
See what I mean?
You put the blame on everything that failed her before she found you, and she goes from always feeling attacked & judged to finally feeling safe & understood.
Most people try to do this by saying things like, “it’s not your fault,” or “you’re not broken” but those lines are so overused now they barely resonate. It almost sounds Woo Woo.
So find a fresher way to say the same thing… ideally in your niche.
Eg. “Turns out, they needed you to fail.”
Women’s markets quietly resist language that implies spending energy.
“Hustle” means burning energy.
So does “grind.” or “build.”
So flip it:
Use words that imply energy coming TO her, not out of her.
Attracting. Manifesting. Receiving. Reclaiming.
Choosing yourself, finally, without the struggle.
One offer I write for is literally built on the line “women choosing themselves.” Not “women working harder.” On the weight-loss side, the angle that won wasn’t “torch fat in 30 days.” It was losing the weight without dieting yourself into misery. Losing weight without starving or punishing yourself. Same outcome. Completely different energy.
The coaching world literally sells “choosing herself,” not grinding herself into a new person.
One pulls. The other pushes. Women buy the pull.
A few years ago, I worked with a 9-figure sales coach who was a master of both masculine and feminine energy. He knew exactly when to use each. He was also trained by a hypnotist too, but I’ll tell you more about that another time.
Anyway, this experience opened my eyes to the power of using softer, more feminine language in ways I still use today – like “softening copy”.
Soft copy doesn’t read like a pitch. It reads like a friend leaning in to share a secret.
For example:
“Hey Sweet Patoot.”
“Hey Boo Babe.”
“I came across this one little nighttime habit almost by accident… and it did more for my body than any meal plan I ever paid for.”
“Between us? There’s a wildly popular weight loss trick going around right now that I think is quietly keeping women stuck.”
“I figured this out about my own body four diets too late… and I’d hate for you to wait as long as I did.”
“Shots fired at GLP-1s 👀 free class this week, babe. It’s gonna be so freaking good.”
“I’ve never shared this in an email before, but I want to share it with you…”
Soft. Flowy. Conversational.
It reads like a friend leaning in to share a secret.
Soft. Flowy. Conversational.
So…
How do you actually get this “female vocabulary” into your writing…?
Two ways.
First, go consume the media she already consumes. The books she reads. The reels she watches. Read the comment sections of the pages she follows and interacts with.
Comment sections on social media accounts are probably the best and most authentic examples for this in my experience.
Second, watch the specific lingo and emoji use…Pink hearts. Emojis. Softer punctuation.
But even if you never sell to a single woman…
These same principles apply.
The core principle is matching your language to the market in front of you.
If you sell to accredited investors, the language shifts to access, status, leverage, discretion, downside protection, “smart money.”
Each market has a specific language that attracts the right buyers who stick around, and repels those who buy once and leave, or become tire kicking leads who never even buy once.
And when you use the right language, you’ll grow your LTV, and make more revenue from the leads you’re already paying for.
